“Lessons in life will be repeated until they are learned.”

―Frank Sonnenberg

I’ve always believed that the little girl who wanted to grow up and be a skating coach still lives inside me today. And while it’s not teaching the correct loop position, landing, or choreographing the perfect program, the lessons I want to teach now are more along the life lessons we all need.

There’s a wise old lady inside me who wants to give the world peace of mind. She’s not great at taking her own advice, but for others, She’s all in.

So, I’m here to remind us (again) that life is short. How we seem to forget about this is beyond me, but I truly believe this is one of the Top 3 Lessons that must be repeated until learned.

A friend recently texted “Every day may not be good, but there is some good in every day.”

Word.

Let’s repeat it for those in the back:

Every day may not be good, but there is some good in every day.

And while this is not new information, it hit me as something fresh and relevant to this shit-show we’re labeling as 2025.

Life isn’t supposed to be a struggle. We are meant to find our purpose or calling and shout it from the rooftops. And even on really bad days, we are meant to find something that makes us remember love.

Even if it’s a cat video.

When we see someone else struggling, we are the shoulder to cry on or the inappropriate texter without a filter. Laughter through tears will always be the best medicine, and there isn’t a problem that can’t be made better just by a hug.

We are all in this together, whether you know it or not. Going it alone isn’t recommended, and problems - no matter how big - are reduced when shared.

Find the good.

Find the love that surrounds you.

Find the reason to get up in the morning, even if it’s an Egg McMuffin. No one is judging you, and those things are f’ing delicious.

Be brave, dear ones, and until next time, read something fabulous.

xo, mj

I’ve been wrestling with a thought for years even had it on a sticky note at one point.

What would you do to be happy if nothing in your life would ever change?

We all have those inner battles - weight, purpose (or lack of), relationships… you get it. We all have something that has always felt like a battle, something to fight for or against. When I can accomplish (fill in the blank), everything will be perfect.

But what if that battle was just in our head, and the way things are—right here, right now—would never change no matter what you did. It might get better for a time, but eventually life would fall back into the current state.

The default mode.

What if you were living a version of this day over and over again like the movie Groundhog Day? And the only way to get out of that day—and all your baggage—was to find out what made you happy during that specific twenty-four hours. It’s as if I’ve been playing by wrong rules all along.

So, if this is the case, and those are the rules, then the only reasonable goal is to figure out what makes you happy.

Not what you should do.

Not what will look better to those around you.

Not what will make someone else happy.

This is an inside job and only you can crack the code to how you want to live the rest of your days.

The gift of time is a privilege and we squander it away worrying about things that aren’t even important to us. We (and by we, I mean me) worry and stress about making lives better for everyone else but ourselves. But as we can see from the last few weeks, our time here is not a guarantee—for us or those we love most. What is the point in waking up everyday if it’s not to do what feels true and brings us joy?

Can you commit to your own happiness day by day? This hamster wheel is so exhausting, and quite honestly, I’m tired of never feeling like what I do makes a difference.

I grew up always feeling like I had to earn my happiness. That if I was good enough and worked hard enough, that happiness would be the prize, but it doesn’t work that way. I’ve spent a lifetime of doing the “right things” and never felt like it was enough. I just want to break free from the weight of this thought pattern—not just for a day, a week, a month—but forever.

I want the default mode to be enough… and to be more about what is right in life than what is wrong.

Can we do that? I know that I’m at least going to try, starting today.

Groundhog Day.

Will he see the shadow or not?

Better yet, will you?

It’s been a minute, but I hope you have been reading something wonderful.

xo, mj

The past couple of weeks have been riddled with back to school moments invading all of my thoughts. And yesterday, when I was walking, I had this moment of longing for those days. 

The excitement of kids going back to school and freeing up your time.

The change in schedule.

The structure of needing to be somewhere at a certain time, multiple times a day.

Sunday night prep for the week. 

I miss it all.

And yet…. I wouldn’t go back for any amount of money in the world. 

That time has passed, and while I’m remembering the dreamy part of parenthood, I seem to be leaving out the portion of stress that invaded our every thought.

Is my kid okay?

Do they have friends? Are they “good for them” friends?

Are they smart enough?

Talented enough?

Do they fit in?

Over weight? Underweight? 

How do we get rid of those zits?

Why can’t they turn their homework in on time? How come every other child is doing better than they are?

The teacher who emailed me because Blake was snoring in class everyday? Are you kidding?

So… maybe I don’t miss the back to school days as much as I thought. 

What about it do I miss? Like… truly miss?

I miss…. Connection and camaraderie with other moms. I miss hockey practice and games. I miss the after school snack/homework/dinner/practice hustle. I miss the structure each day brought. I miss finding pockets of time that I could use to write. I miss who I was when I was a mom who was needed. I miss the busyness. I miss the way I could handle so many things all at once, without batting an eye. I felt like someone who could fix anything because I made it happen multiple times a day. 

I know getting older is about freedom, but a part of me also feels like I’m just too old to do anything anymore. Like the best part of my life is over, and I didn’t even understand to enjoy it at the time. But that is how every life stage is, isn’t it? Never appreciating what is right in front of you at the time, and looking back realizing how good you had it. 

So what does it all mean?

It means… open your eyes. Look at what is right in front of you and love what is there no matter what. Because, tomorrow you will look back and wonder what the hell you were so stressed out about. You’ll wonder why you wished those days away so much. You’ll wonder why you didn’t trust that everything would be okay, even when the opposite was facing you everyday.

Spoiler alert: everything is going to be okay.

And this goes to every woman, no matter what stage you’re in, but especially to those who no longer get to celebrate the back to school moments. 

We are a different breed who need to find something else to create that structure in our lives. 

We need connection, not avoidance like we think. My entire existence revolves around one thought… How can I get away from these people? It doesn’t matter who the people are… just the need to get away. To hide. To find comfort in the solitude. To seek peace by eliminating all conflicting points of view. To understand that when I’m alone is the only time I’m not at service to someone else.

Yeah… that last one is just for me.

I missed doing this. Spilling my guts to the blank page and hitting publish, not caring who read it or what they thought. 

This whole post feels a little self-indulgent, but I’m tired of avoiding the words and thoughts in my head. And I thought that maybe if I’m feeling this way, someone else might need to hear it too, no matter what stage you’re in.

No matter what, remember to lean on those around you, smile at the chaos, and know that no matter what is (or isn’t) going on, you are a kick-ass mom.

Until next time, pretend you have homework, and read something fabulous.

xo, mj

This has been one of those weeks where I’ve lost track of the days. But as I sit here thinking back there are a few moments that were saved in the memory bank. Have any of you noticed that if you’re in the moment - staying present to what you’re doing - the memories are more vibrant? More readily available? More heartwarming?

Just more, if you get what I’m saying.

Here are the three things I remember being just fabulous this week…

1. One of the many perks of having Carly Jo do my hair (other than the obvious answer of looking fabulous) is that she continually has the best tv recommendations. And this week’s rec was one of my favorites. If you haven’t seen Peanut Butter Falcon on Netflix, then please do so… like, now. It’s funny, heartwarming, and just makes you happy. It’s an older movie, so you’ll have to search for it, but you won’t be disappointed.

2. Having drinks with a friend who knows you better than you know yourself. The drinks are great, but the insights are crazy good. I walked away from that night understanding myself in ways I hadn’t before. So fun. And next time you go to BJ’s, sit at the bar and harass Brady the bartender until he smiles. He won’t want to… he may give you a blank stare at first… but eventually, he cracks.

3. Y’all… it’s been so long since I’ve held a baby, and lately I’ve had the privilege to get my hands on sweet, little Ryann, my nephew’s daughter. She is perfection, and I’m not just saying that. She is 3 weeks old and still the tiniest thing ever—about the size of a loaf of bread—and don’t even get me started on the squeaks, peeps, and grunts she does. It’s baby heaven, and I got to hold her for hours last night. The best! I don’t believe there is anything more peaceful for me than to hold a baby. It’s magical.

Obviously, there are more… always more, but it’s now your turn to come up with your own three. As I write this, I’m sitting on the deck watching the bunnies make Darby crazy hopping all around our yard just outside her reach. It’s a perfect Spring night, and I’m not even caring that there is cotton flying around our yard like snow.

Thank you for reading—I mean that from the bottom of my little typing fingers. It’s been so long since I’ve done the blog thing, and it feels so rusty on my end. It’ll all come back eventually, so I’ll just keep plugging away.

It’s therapy for me in some ways, and it’s a commitment that I’m finally ready to keep. It’s been a long time coming, but I believe it’s here for good this time. I don’t want to let this feeling go again.

Reading season is officially upon us, so make sure you have something good to read at all times.

I’ll see you next time…

xo, mj

In honor of Thursday—and more importantly, the day before Friday—I wanted to have something I could post weekly that would force me to find the good in my world. The idea here being that if you are consistently looking for good things, then you have less time to look for less favorable things.

Like construction on every road in Lansing. I mean, honestly… could we get one road where there isn’t an orange barrel or detour?

But I digress.

Let’s get into this….

Thought #1: I have the best neighbors. Like, for real. And walking Darby is similar to walking with the Mayor of Grosebeck. Everyone loves her, and because of these walks I now know my neighbors. On last night’s walk, I had a neighbor race out to the sidewalk in her bare feet just to come and say hi. There is literally nothing better for me to do after a long work day than to hit the sidewalk with my pup.

Thought #2: I’m still a reader! Don’t laugh… sometimes, I wonder if I have the mental focus to finish a book in less than a year. Well, I’m here to tell you, I can! Finished The Teacher by Freida McFadden on my lunchbreak today, and while it’s probably not for everyone, I had a few great days of wanting to do nothing else but read. Next, please.

Thought #3: Summer is coming! And to prove it, I bought myself a pair of sunglasses off Amazon—first pair I’ve bought in almost five years. As I sit here, I know they’re waiting for me on my porch, and I can’t wait to get home and try them on!

That’s it… it’s that simple. Take out a notebook, phone app, or a napkin and write three good thoughts of your own. Then, as you go through your days, try to keep the good moments front and center in your mind to remember. Every Thursday, I’ll remind you to find the good in your own life.

Let me know if you’re reading anything I need to pick up. I want to keep this reading train going.

Until next time, read something fabulous.

xo, mj

Raise your hand if you woke up today—and for just one second—you wanted to go back to bed?

*author raises hand.

Sometimes, it’s not just for a second. We carry that why-can’t-I-just-stay-in-bed feeling with us all day… or is that just me?

I was listening to a podcast yesterday, and the host asked the question how do you measure your success? And I had to think about that for a second, knowing in the pit of my stomach that I wasn’t going to like the answer.

Well, (full disclosure, here) I measure it by comparing myself to everyone else I see on social media, as well as other others who are claiming to easily write four books a year and pull in a cool six-figure income from those books. Every time I finish a book and hit publish, I have that invincible feeling of I can totally make this dream a reality.

I have beaten the odds.

I am successful!

Then, almost in the same second, the doubt creeps in. The more I look for what I want my life to resemble, the more defeated I become. The doubt is that voice in your head that says I can’t.

I will never…

I don’t know how…

I don’t have time/money/energy…

It is a spiral of doubt one can only get from measuring your success against others. The Doubt Spiral—not unlike the death spiral in pairs skating that also appears extremely difficult.

The doubt spiral will confirm all your worst fears. It will take away your sane reasoning and replace it with thoughts like I’m not good enough, who do you think you are, and my personal favorite, let’s just bake cookies and keep your day job.

But the mind is a tricky beast, and we do have the ability of nipping those thoughts in the bud and pivoting to a kinder, gentler thought. One that feels like hope. One that reminds you that no one else calls the shots on your life.

You do.

You get to choose your thoughts.

You get to imagine whatever the hell you want. The only thing is, you have to stand behind those thoughts, and put blinders on to anything anyone else is doing. Let them live their lives, and you live yours. If you have to take yourself off social media, then so be it. It’s 95% BS anyways. Be like the horses who wear blinkers in the race so they can block everything out except for their finish line.

I’m not saying you won’t wake up in the morning with the familiar dread and anxiety still, but you will be able to notice those thoughts quicker and pivot to something that makes you feel better. You really can change your mind for the better if you work at it. Leaving reminders for yourself and what you want is also another great tactic to combat the doubt spiral.

I hope this helps you in your day today. As I write these words, it’s Mother’s Day morning, and I know mine is smiling at the fact I chose something different today rather than missing her.

Coffee Wisdom of the Day: Think better thoughts. Just like Glinda the Good Witch said, “ You always had the power, my dear. You just had to learn it for yourself.”

Side note fun fact: While I was looking up the exact quote from Glinda, I also found this gem from her… “A dream is only as strong as the dreamer who believes it.”

Word.

Until next time, read something fabulous.

xo, mj

Sometimes you just need a change.

A massive, blow-up-your-past-ways kind of change.

For so long I have been running on auto-pilot, checking the boxes, and planning ahead. But then 2023 happened, and while it was definitely a year of massive change, it was also one where I found myself floundering with words like I never had before.

It’s been over a year since I’ve written anything worth looking at, and while that is a blow to the ego, it’s also a really good wake-up call for me.

Inspiration and motivation seemed to run dry and I didn’t know if I even wanted to write anymore. For someone who has always found solace in the words, it’s remarkable how humbling it is when you have nothing to say.

No stories to tell.

No funny dialog to jot down.

No characters to throw to the wolves, and then rescue.

It’s weird to think that a whole year has gone by and I have nothing ‘literary’ to show for it. Again, humbling is the only word I can use that feels right.

And to be honest, no one really seemed to care but me. I have to tell myself to keep my ego in check and maybe it doesn’t matter if I never write another word again for public consumption.

Maybe, my journal is the only place where the words will flow.

That would be okay, if that little voice inside me didn’t keep shouting, “Ass in seat - fingers on the keyboard.” So, I decided to do what my writer self would’ve done fifteen years ago… start over with something new.

Reinvent.

Recreate.

Write what you know and hang out with characters you love.

I mean… what else am I going to do? I’m a writer at heart, and it really doesn’t matter who reads these words. The important part is to just write them and move onto the next project.

I’ve done this so many times and have yet to create a lasting change. As I was thinking about it today, I had to ask myself where I went off the rails. If I’m going to make changes, I at least need to know what the roadblocks are and what happened.

Long story short—I focused only on the outcomes. I stopped caring about the process and the utter joy writing posts like this brings me. Creating in a space like this is my first true love, so I’m going to try and do more of it. I have no idea where it will lead, but that is the best part—anything is possible again.

I’m not done with novels just yet… just looking for inspiration in old places.

When the old process isn’t working, it’s time for a new one.

That’s all I have for you today, but already playing with another idea for the next one.

Stay tuned… and until then, read something fabulous.

xo, mj

Do any of you remember the scene from Jerry McGuire where Tom Cruise and Cuba Gooding Jr. are in the locker room, and Tom screams the line, “Help me, help you,” out of sheer frustration?

No? You can find it here, and just for kicks, go ahead and watch it now… I’ll wait. The scene is brilliant.

Now, imagine myself saying that into the mirror every single morning.

“Help me, help you!”

It isn’t pretty, but that seems to be the place I’m in right now.

The other part of the scene is when Tom asked him if he remembered why he started in the first place. Was it only for the money?

I hate to admit that for the last year I have been down the show-me-the-money rabbit hole of writing. I thought if I could figure out how to write more, publish more, and find more readers, then I could eventually quit my day job. A light at the end of the literary tunnel. I’ve followed all the big Indie writers, took their classes, and it actually did help for a while. I wrote We Still Hope in that honeymoon phase of this might actually work mentality.

As soon as I decided to make a go of it (hello, resolutions?) the petulant child inside me said, “No, thank you. Not today.”

Or the next day.

Or the next.

At first I was taking February off—to figure out what I wanted. Surely, one month wouldn’t throw me so off track that I couldn’t catch up, could it?

March.

April.

May.

Here we are, June 1, and I’ve written less than 10k this year, total. The imposter syndrome is strong, and I dread the question, “What are you writing now?”

“Maybe I’m not a writer anymore,” I whined to my friend.

“Maybe you need to remember why you write,” she deadpanned.

The thing is, once you get so sick of yourself and your excuses, you’re finally at a place where you can understand why. You can see the flaws in your original plan, and you definitely can begin to take some baby steps.

Where the path is leading, I still don’t know. I simply decided to go back to the beginning and write for you on a consistent basis, trusting it’s leading me to a better place than where I’ve been. I have given into the fact that I’m not like all the other writers out there, and perhaps, my books are more about understanding life than making money.

I’m insanely proud of what I have accomplished, and finally excited again to see where the words will lead me. For now, I’ll read fabulous books by amazing authors and send them your way... because that is truly where this love affair began: With a book.

Until next time, read something fabulous.

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“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.”

~ Edith Lovejoy Pierce

It’s December 26th, and I’m fighting the urge to take the tree down. I’m the classic hurry-up-and-wait kind of girl. The ever present FOMO is running through my system at all times. I have planners, digital calendars, task lists, and notebooks to keep me on top of everything I need to do, but what happens when the tank is empty?

Christmas does this to me every year, and every year I vow to do it differently next year.

Starting in January, I’ll do better.

Starting on my birthday, I’ll make those changes.

And every year, I write down the same goals and dreams. Every. Single. Year.

If I were a gambler (I’m not), I’d bet my last dollar you do the same thing.

The question that is bugging me this year is this: Do I change the goals, or do I simply change? I don’t want to make the same January 1 journal entry, wishing for this and that, knowing I probably won’t follow through. What would it feel like to set a goal you know you’re going to achieve?

The thing is… change has to be in little ways every single day. It’s not a Monday through Friday or weekends only thing. Change happens little by little, every single day.

Oddly enough, that’s exactly how a book is written, and that’s the only comparison I can give you right now. Word by word, day in and day out, I complete a first draft. Sometimes, it’s hard and monotonous. Other days, it flows like ocean waves. But, everyday is how it’s done.

That, my friends, is life. You can’t simply wish for something, write it down, then wait. You have to walk towards that goal with your arms open wide—knowing there will come a day when you think to yourself, “Who thought this was a good idea?” The day will come when you question whether you really, really want whatever it is you wrote down. You’ll bargain with yourself to lower your standards to a lesser version of the goal. You’ll let the goal go all together.

What I want you to understand is that’s okay. You don’t have to wait to January 1 to set a goal… they can be done on March 3rd, August 20th, or December 30th. You can start over or change the goal whenever you want. Your life, your rules.

Let me repeat that…

your life, your rules.

I found the picture at the top of this post, and a part of me melted. That little girl is fill with joy and energy and isn’t judging her bangs. She loves life, and I decided right then that this is who I’m writing for from here on out. I’m tired of the limitations I’ve put on myself, and I want to find that little girl again. She is the one who dreams and doesn’t stop when it gets tough. She’s the one that says, “Who cares if it doesn’t work? Find another way, but it better be fun.”

Because if it isn’t fun, what is the damn point?

Perhaps it’s the post-holiday let down writing this post, but I don’t think so. I’ve grown so tired of trying to make everyone happy—I know, we can’t, but it doesn’t mean I didn’t try like hell. I’m going to continue writing books I love, and pray you like them too, but in the end, I have to let that part go.

This is for me. And I want to build an empire doing what I love.

Word.

What things can you let go of to push you forward towards your goals or even more happiness? Or better yet, what goals can you let go of because you were doing them to look better to someone else? Let that $hit go! If we only choose one goal this year, let it be giving up comparing ourselves to each other.

I guarantee you’ll be happier without it…

I hope you all have a wonderful and Happy New Year.

Don’t forget: We Still Hope is out January 7, wherever you buy your books online! All the links are on my home page.

Until next time, read something fabulous.

xo, mj

Leave a little sparkle wherever you go this December.

Book News!

It’s finally here, and I am so excited to be able to share the pub date with you… We Still Hope is on track to launch January 7, 2023!! As I’ve said before, the characters are already friends of mine, and just like the title says, it is one that will give you hope and all the feels. I loved every part of writing this book. The paperback will be available on Amazon, and the ebook will be found anywhere you download your books. Watch my socials for the cover reveal soon!

The second one in the series, The Apartment on Hope Street is already shaping up to be the perfect rom-com follow up in The Hope Street Series.

December Fun 🎅🏻

The holidays are my favorite time of year, and I have a special treat for you this year. Starting December 14th, I’ll be giving away one ebook a day—all books on my favorites list this year. The 12 Days of Christmas is all about the spirit of the season, and books are my go-to for giving. I mean, what’s better than getting a good book? Make sure you’re following me on Facebook and Instagram, and you’ll see how to enter each day.

I can’t wait!!

What to Bake

Y’all… I have THE ONLY recipe you need if you are one of those lovelies who gifts baked goods. I can’t claim this one, since I got it straight from Paula Deen herself, but it will make everyone swoon when you bring these to a gathering. You may have heard the name before and steered clear, but let me tell you, this one is a no-brainer.

Unless you’re on a diet.

Then you might want to skip.

Gooey Butter Bars (even though there is nothing gooey about them.)

Ingredients:

1 (18 1/4 oz) package yellow cake mix

1 egg

16 tablespoons melted, divided butter

1 (8 oz) package softened cream cheese

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 (16 oz) box powdered sugar

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 °F.

Combine the cake mix, egg and 8 tablespoons butter and mix well with an electric mixer. Pat the mixture into the bottom of a lightly greased 13 by 9-inch baking pan. I line the pan with parchment paper for easy cutting when they’re cooled.

In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese until smooth. Add the eggs, vanilla and 8 tablespoons butter and beat together.

Next, add the powdered sugar and mix well. Spread over cake batter and bake for 40 to 50 minutes. Make sure not to over bake as the center should be a little gooey.

The top will get a darker brown in spots, and that’s okay. Once they’ve cooled, cut them into small bars. They are heaven in a bite!

Enjoy!!

That’s it from me! Next week there will be a cover reveal, and I’ll see you all on December 14th for the first annual 12 Days of Christmas!

Until then, read something fabulous ❤️

This has been one of those weeks.

We lost a good friend and nothing seems to make sense.

A wife. A mother. A sister. A daughter. A cousin. A friend. And yet, this barely scratches the surface of who she was.

She was so much to so many, and the fact that she went to bed one night and didn’t wake up the next day is the hardest part to handle. I can’t even imagine what her family is going through, and my heart goes out to each of them.

It’s times like this that I really begin to look at my own life and re-evaluate choices that I make every day. I don’t think there is anyone that heard about her and didn’t question their own existence. When a death happens this suddenly to someone so young, it’s the ultimate wake up call. It’s the moment you realize you’re either living the life of your dreams… or you’re not.

Death has that sneaky way of giving everyone perspective and an immediate appreciation for life. You can use it to your advantage or simply let it slip by you and continue on with the life you’re living.

It’s totally up to you, and no one is judging.

It reminds me of the quote by Albert Einstein… “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” We really do have the choice of how we view our own lives, and speaking from experience, my view could use a little work.

If you find yourself reading this, take stock of your life. Are you loved? Do you have family and friends who support you? Do you have reasons to wake up in the morning… even one? We—and by we, I mean me—take life so seriously and forget to look around at the abundance of love in our lives. I’m so guilty of living my life, stressed out by work or obligations, that I forget to see what is really around me. I think the only way to honor her, or any death, is to start seeing what is truly important at the end of the day.

Family. Friends. Love.

It’s the hardest lesson to learn, but nothing else really matters, does it?

I think it’s a lesson worth learning, and this is our wake up call.

Take care, my friends. Life is short… Love hard. Be kind.

xo, Mo

I don’t have 20/20 vision. In fact, I’m blind as a bat, and even with glasses, it’ll never be 20/20. I’ve learned to get along with what I have, making the most of it, and happy it doesn’t change too much from year to year.

This year, like my eyesight, has been anything but normal for what we envisioned back in January. Raise your hand if you started the year off thinking it was going to be just another year. Or maybe you had big plans to get married, or graduate, or start a new job. Chances are, you still did some of those things, but I know it turned out far different than when you first imagined it. My old coaching motto of the reality doesn’t fit the image explains a lot about 2020.

The thing is, everyone of us—no matter what your eyesight is like—has a case of 2020 vision. It is impossible to have gone through this year and still see life the same way you did way back in 2019. The never-ending disappointments, cancellation of life events, the job loss, the isolation, the illness, and the massive loss of so many loved ones.

Not to mention the constant confusion of what’s real, what’s fake, and who you can trust. We have been pushed to the very brink of our own sanity, and what do we have to show for it? For some, it’s a new hobby, and for others it might be a few extra pounds. Some enjoyed the challenge of puzzles, and others got a puppy. Some found solace in at home workouts, while others binged on every episode of West Wing, Shitt’s Creek, and The Great British Bake-off.

Remember, this is a no-judgement zone :)

One lesson we learned was there isn’t a guidebook to social distancing or how to quarantine properly. When life threw lemons at us, we had to figure out our own special recipe for lemonade. From what I’ve seen—even with my faulty, limited eyesight—this year gave us more hardship than we ever thought possible, but I’ve also seen things like compassion, generosity, and growth. I guarantee we have all changed and are better humans because of this year. We simply can’t go through a year like this unaffected. Again…it’s impossible.

December always makes me hopeful for the upcoming year. I love a fresh start, a new calendar, and a fresh perspective, but it’s always good to look back to see what we know now that we didn’t twelve months ago.

This year, I learned there’s no replacement for the power of a hug and human connection.

I learned that laughter through tears is still my favorite emotion.

I learned—like many people—we can do great work from home.

I’ve seen friends who had to become school teachers for their kids. Teachers who had to keep students engaged and organized.

I learned that compassion has to start with your self first, and only then can you have it for someone else.

I’ve learned that any change has to start from the inside first. I finally get it when I hear Ghandi’s words, ‘Be the change you wish to see in the world.’

I learned that even in a year that was as difficult and challenging as this one, we still can find gratitude for the little things: coffee, text messages, friendship, and leggings. But only a year like this can make us drop to our knees in praise of toilet paper, sanitizer, masks, and curbside delivery.

Honestly… who knew in January we’d be grateful for a role of Charmin? Not I.

And here we are, at the end of this historic point in time. It will surely go down in the record books for horrific statistics of illness and loss, but I’m going to try and keep my heart moving towards 2021, figuring out what this year meant to me. Everyone will carry with them a different memory and meaning, and that’s okay. We are all different, and brave, and dealing with life the best we can.

I had to learn that too.

My wish for you to find peace, comfort, and joy in your daily life. Saving it for tomorrow is so 2020. Let’s learn to live with it today….right here, right now.

Until next time, read something fabulous.

xo, Mo

“Usually, when the distractions of daily life deplete our energy, the first thing we eliminate is the thing we need the most: quiet, reflective time. Time to dream, time to contemplate what's working and what's not, so that we can make changes for the better.”

~Sarah Ban Breathnach

I’m not going to sugarcoat it for you: This year has kicked my ass.

I’m betting it’s kicked yours too.

In fact, I don’t think there is anyone in my circle that isn’t nodding knowingly right now.

For the last month or so, I have found it impossible to write anything. A little journaling here and there, but nothing with regularity. Writing it the thing that makes everything okay in my world, and without it, well… let’s just say my coping skills are not doing me any favors. A little too much Netflix with a side of wine. How about a batch of cookies?! And yes, I have been reading more—which is good—but not when it’s replacing the writing.

I prefer my writing to be at the top of the list. Crossed off, preferably.

It’s not necessarily writer’s block—I don’t really believe in that, anyway. It’s more like a mental paralysis for me. After a day of work, politics, and social media, I honestly prefer to just check out at night. My mom always said, ‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.’ So, for me, a night of West Wing is just what the doctor ordered.

Or is it?

I want to do something drastic and try and remember a time when no one knew I was a writer. A time when I wrote for the sheer love of it. I didn’t post about it. I didn’t try to sell books. I didn’t give myself crazy deadlines to miss. It was all about the process and less about the outcome.

I just wrote. I created the cast of What We Know Now before anyone saw a glimmer of the Frankfort lighthouse. Or Lakeside Landing. Or Babs.

Somewhere along the way, I’ve replaced the love with a stressful side hustle and lost the almighty WHY. Starting today, I’m going to work on getting that back. From now, until December 1, I am taking a social media break.

No Facebook.

No Instagram.

No Twitter.

I’ve just had it with the negativity and comparison trap I’ve turned it into, and I’m hopeful and excited about this idea. I want my life back - my own life - and not care what anyone else is doing. It’s how it should be, anyway.

So, of course I’m wondering what you would give up in November that might make your life more positive? No complaining? No drama? No excuses? There has to be something that’s been nagging at you, especially this year.

Let’s take this month to gear up for the holidays by bringing something we can truly be grateful for into our lives. Our sanity and mental well-being.

Until December then… if you need me, text me. If you call, I probably won’t answer, and don’t ever leave a voicemail. I’ll never hear it. Pretty sure I wrote that in a book, somewhere.

And when in doubt, read something fabulous.

xo, Mo

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If you are a human, chances are you have had a chance to witness a game between two teams at some point in your life. Perhaps, your kids are in team sports.

Maybe you are.

I’m going to use hockey in our post today, because that is what I know. In my heart, in my bones, I know hockey. I know what is needed to be a great player, and even more importantly, a great team member. I have coached hockey players. Raised a hockey player. Worked with hockey players.

I know the mentality and respect it.

And, I’m willing to go out on a limb when I say that most of what applies with hockey can transfer over to other sports… at least the big picture ideas I’m talking about today.

The offense vs. defense theory.

In one of Blake’s first years of hockey, he was on a team that lost almost every game. I think they won 2 out of 50+ games. It wasn’t pretty, and most of us chalked it up to a character building year. What else can you do in that situation?

About halfway through the season, I began to pinpoint where the wheels fell off, and the idea of what happened with that team never left me. The biggest problem (in my humble opinion) was the fact that our goaltending wasn’t the strongest. Look, I know, they’re kids, and yes I believe everyone was doing their best. I’m certainly not goalie bashing. Stick with me here.

If you’re on a team with a weaker goalie, then what happens is the rest of the team begins to play defense. You lose your offense—and with it, your main ability to score—and everyone is playing solely to not get scored on. If you’re playing like this, it’s hard to see, because you’re so busy defending your zone.

You guys, this is life.

You are either living defensively—protecting what’s yours—or you are living offensively and seeking creative ways to solve your problems. Curious and open to trying new things. Let’s pretend we all have a goalie in our lives who’s let a few soft goals in. It happens.

You gained a few pounds.

You stopped taking care of yourself.

You’re in a rut of work, eat, sleep, repeat.

You begin to notice that you complain about E V E R Y T H I N G. Everything.

Everyday, you set out and try your hardest not to screw anything up. Keep things the way they are… don’t rock the boat. And for God’s sake, don’t step outside your comfort zone.

This is living defensively, and I hate to blame an entire year, but 2020 has given many of us this defensive perspective. The why bother attitude with a side of what difference does it make?

I’m here to tell you that your mental state does make a difference. Waking up and saying why not instead of why bother is a day-maker. Replacing the phrase have to with get to is another trick for your mind.

I have to go to work today.

I get to go to work today.

See the difference? The second choice feels almost grateful for the ability to have a job at all.

Is this year everything we thought it would be? Definitely not, but that doesn’t mean we can’t turn it around ourselves. We can, and it’s your responsibility to make those changes. No one else is going to do it for you. Take ownership of your life—be your own coach—and see where you need to make changes to live life playing offense. The only thing we ever have control over is our own perspective and how we choose to see the world around us.

Choose wisely, my friends.

Go team!

Until next time, read something fabulous…

xo, Mo

Of course I’m going here.

Of course, I’m going to take a fabulously binge-worthy Netflix show and wonder how we can apply it to make sense of our own lives.

Of course, I sat down to write this immediately after watching the first episode, the synapses pinging around imagining the possibilities. Editing our lives? What does that even mean?

It means clarity, my friends. My favorite word this year, and I’ve got 3+ months to use the hell out of it.

Organize the things you want to keep—people, habits, possessions.

Purge the items that no longer serve you—people, habits, possessions.

Display and present in an orderly and beautiful fashion.

I know, I know, the idea of purging people? A resounding YES shouted from the rooftops. It doesn’t have to be rude or hurtful, but at this stage in our 2020 lives, we need to understand who is helping us and who is… not. I guarantee you everyone has a few people in their lives that always leave them feeling a little wonky when they’re gone.

Negativity. Overly-critical opinions. Ungratefulness. Sure, these can represent people in your life, or they can be habits of your own that you’re ready to let go of. It is time to release what is causing discomfort in your life and begin to replace them (whether people or habits) with things that put a smile on your face.

Things that make you feel good.

Things that light you up for no reason at all.

Things that allow you see your own life with a kinder heart.

This really doesn’t have to be rocket science. Like a young girl on the Today show last week said, “It’s calories in and calories out.” This was about losing 100 pounds… in one year. One. Year. One hundred pounds.

Obviously, you don’t have to set out to purge things to that extent, but starting small can also lead to big things. Things you never saw coming. Being open to new things, people, or habits. All I’m saying, is try to salvage something out of this year that seems to have highlighted all the negative in our lives.

Find the positives. Be grateful for having them.

And then display and present them in an orderly and beautiful fashion.

Word.

When in doubt, read something wonderful.

xo, Mo

“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.” ~Tom Bodett

Happy June!

So, I’ll just state the obvious… this last week has been another shining example of everything that’s wrong with the world. This isn’t a political post by any means, and I’m certainly not going to throw another opinion in the mix. We don’t need any more rants or protests in the world, and here’s the deal… I’m not going to tell you what you do need. That is not my job. The only thing I can do, is continue to try and figure out what it is that I need to live in this world. It’s a daily battle, and I don’t always win.

But that’s okay, because my lessons will continue to show up in one form or another until I finally learn.

Choosing joy isn’t exactly new to me. I’ve written about it. I’ve posted about it. I’ve rallied for it. And yet, at the end of ten weeks of quarantine, I’m feeling the need to search for it again. I genuinely believe the answers we are searching for is finding out what makes us happy. And this isn’t a one size fits all answer. Nor is the mission ever complete. What made me happy in my twenties is far different from what makes me happy now.

Hell, what made me happy ten weeks ago looks different than it does now.

I don’t know what June will bring, but I do know that the world is different now, and it’s our J O B to continue to grow with it. It’s your choice—always has been—to find your joy.

In order to do this, you have to let go of the stuff you don’t want to make room for the stuff you do. You can’t have both.

You can’t have resentment and be grateful.

You can’t be self-sacrificing and fulfilled.

You can’t be everything to everyone without losing a part of yourself.

You have to choose yourself first. I don’t know how I wrote an entire book about this last year, and it’s just now hitting me how much those words resonate with me.

I see that now.

Gratitude and happiness are choices—daily battles, sometimes—and always based on your own perspective. Sure, there are horrible things in the world, but only we can choose where our focus lies.

Homework: Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find ONE thing that brings you joy everyday. Of course, you can do more (make a list!), but starting small with just one thing will begin a shift into something bigger. It’s not a contest, and only you can decide what your one thing is. I’m going to post mine on Instagram and try to have some fun with it.

I hope you do the same.

And when in doubt, find something fabulous to read :)

xo, Mo

Home stretch (plural home stretches): The final part of a race course from the last curve to the finish line. The final part of a distance or the final effort needed to finish. I think we're finally on the home stretch with this project.

I bet you all didn’t know that my dad is a HUGE horse racing fan. Like, not just the Kentucky Derby interest, but pretty much any horse race that’s on, kind of commitment. On Saturday night we watched the replay of the 2015 Preakness Stakes.

That’s a commitment.

It was so long ago, I think he was still surprised by the winner (American Pharoah, if you’re wondering). And the funny part is, I had to change it from regular horse racing to watch a replay of an old horse race. Apparently, horse racing is the ONLY current sport right now, and it’s on every single weekend. You may have gotten the snapchats.

Horses are beautiful, and the sport of horse racing is very exciting. I’m not downplaying any of that, but, having to watch it every weekend is beginning to take a toll. I’ve started taking my Kindle and happily read while we’re off to the races. I’m obsessed with Words with Friends again. I’ve also been known to take a power nap while the races are on.

To be completely honest, without the crowd, the races are a little boring. Watching the difference of the before and after, I began to wonder, what will our after look like? How different is our new normal going to look once the quarantine is lifted?

While watching the 2015 version, I literally cringed watching the crowd and HOW CLOSE everyone was to each other. I think I’ll be forever changed by this, and I still don’t know how to process that, let alone label it as good or bad. If I’m being completely honest, I’m a little nervous about the future. I think it’s going to be very a very different world we live in.

That being said, there are things that only a quarantine can force someone to learn. For instance, training a puppy is simultaneously as easy and as hard as it sounds. Not much better than a newborn at times, but the just like a newborn, the joy far outweighs the drama.

Cooking has also become even more of a hobby these days. I’m no longer content with the same old meals and have tried to make some new things during this time.

I’ve finally perfected my chocolate chip cookie recipe and make them more than I care to admit.

I’m writing every day, and loving the direction of book 4.

Hulu is my new best friend.

My Calm app is still my daily companion.

And I’m grateful. Grateful for all the little things I see now that I didn’t when I was racing around in ‘real life.’ Music, flowers, birds, and the bing of a text from a friend. I appreciate my friends so much more now.

Yoga pants.

So for today, knowing we’re in the home stretch, I want to know what you’re grateful for during this time. It’s so easy to watch the news and complain, but I challenge you to find a different perspective. I want you to look around and appreciate exactly where you are right now. And if you can’t, then what is it you’d change? It’s okay to visit pity city, but it’s not okay to live there.

Find something to be grateful for as if it were your job.

Because it is.

And then read something fabulous. Because you’ve earned it.

xo, Mo

Essential:

Adj: absolutely necessary; extremely important.

Noun: a thing that is absolutely necessary.

How many weeks has this been? Is it still April? The days are blending into one another, much like my thoughts, and don’t even get me started on how much I’ve spent on groceries. No one in this house can stop eating, myself included. Having a home office located in our kitchen isn’t exactly ideal for me.

I get it. Some of us quarantine better than other—that’s a given—but all of us are starting to feel the walls closing in. Especially here in dreary Michigan, where a sunny day is as rare as a unicorn.

Or is it? As I write this, sunlight is streaming through our front windows with blinding strength. The kind of bright that makes you want to wear sunglasses indoors. The kind of sunlight that is whispering something to me.

Dream, it says.

Dream of a better day ahead of you.

Think of what you want to do first when this quarantine has lifted. I know the world is going to look different, but what from your pre-quarantine life is essential to you?

For me, it’s getting together with friends. The Friday happy hour or Sunday funday. Being able to give a friend a random hug. Working in an office.

Shopping at Target without a mask.

I know, these things sound frivolous when people are fighting for their lives with this virus. Or you’re one of the brave souls who put on your work clothes and head into the hospital every day. I know your wishes are far different than mine, and that’s okay. We all have a different take on this pandemic and will struggle/deal with it in our own way.

There are no instructions on how to quarantine properly. No pandemic guidebook to ease your worries. We have a few more weeks of this and need to keep our eyes on the future and our hearts in the here and now. Be kinder to yourself and those around you, everyday, and remember this isn’t something we’ve ever been through. There are no right or wrong answers.

So, for today, I want you to take in the sunshine and the warmer temperature - wherever you are - and trust that you are exactly where you need to be. We will get through this with more awareness of ourselves, and create more understanding and a grateful world in the future.

And when in doubt, read something wonderful.

xo, Mo

How can I help?

I recently ran out of things to watch on Netflix, so I began to watch New Amsterdam on demand. Have you seen this show? Yes, I know, the last thing TV needs is another hospital drama, but I’m telling you, this show will make you feel good. Sappy, laughter-through-tears good. It’s specialty is highlighting how amazing doctors and nurses are—any hospital staff, really—and that’s something we should all embrace right now.

And even though it’s fiction, I can’t help but get sucked in on every episode, resulting in happy tears in the final moments of each episode.

It’s a show about hope.

It’s a show about love.

It’s a show that reinforces being a good human above all else.

And it’s a show you need to watch if you just want to feel better.

“How can I help?” This line is said about ten times in the first episode alone by the main character, Max Goodwin. It’s brilliant.

I just started episode 4, and he said it again, and I knew this is what I would write about this week.

These times are tough on all of us. Social distancing and lock downs have become the new normal, but is it really? This feels anything but normal. And does anyone else feel like the phrase social distancing is an oxymoron? As much as I hate to say this, I think we’re going to be here for a while.

So my question is this: How can I help?

I have made it a mission on my Facebook page to try and bring a smile or laughter to your day. At least five times every day, I feel like breaking down. And I’m betting I’m not alone in feeling this way. I turn to social media to find something—anything—to feel better or laugh about. So, my goal during this crazy time right now, is to find something that brings me joy. Then I try to bring you joy. I obsessively use my Calm app. I bake like I’m a contestant on a baking show. A daily adventure involves getting a McDonalds Diet Coke. Don’t judge.

And I watch shows like New Amsterdam.

Our lives are filled with enough reality. Letting go of what you believe “normal” is supposed to look like will help you get through this period of time. You’ll need to find a way to manage your moods like it was your job.

Because it is.

We need you, heart and soul. We need you to be able to laugh through the tears. And on those days that feel pretty dark, let me leave this one question here for you…

How can I help?

Raise your hand if you—like me— are always on a mission to improve you life in some way.

Starting a diet?

Buying new planners or systems?

Books that promise the perfect morning routine that will change your life?

Bad-assery?

You can put your hand down now. I had mine up for all of them.

I have spent half of my life searching for someone else to tell me how to live my life, and the one thing I’ve learned is that the only expert we will ever need, is ourselves.

We can be the experts of our own lives if we could just begin to listen to what we really need.

I’ve spent the the last few days feeling as lost and scared as everyone else about the state of the world we’re living in. The answers we’re seeking right now aren’t going to be found in a book. We’re certainly not going to find it on the news. Netflix is a lovely escape, but even that can feel monotonous by day 6.

Nope, the only way you’re going to get through this and maintain any level of sanity, is by knowing what is good for you. What works. And, more importantly, what doesn’t.

Sometimes, the best way to figure out what we DO want is to simply be clear about what we DON’T want. We’re stuck at home, but that doesn’t mean it has to feel like a prison.

Learn something new.

Crochet a scarf.

Start that journal you’ve been thinking about.

Create a blog.

Zoom or FaceTime with friends.

Download a book.

Scrapbook or start a recipe book of your own.

Make a 2020 Playlist and have some fun with it.

Pray a Hail Mary or better yet, learn to say the Rosary.

Harry Potter marathon? Anyone?

Look, I know the times are tough and scary, but taking care of ourselves is essential before we can take care of anyone else. Turn the news off and go for a socially-distant walk outside. Take a nap. Drive through Starbucks and pay for the person behind you.

Apparently, baking bread is a thing now, too.

You get the picture. Be curious and open to what makes you happy. The operative word there was happy.

We will get through this, and we will be stronger people when this is all said and done.

And hopefully, you learn a little something about yourself you didn’t know before. It’s why we’re here.

Be safe. Wash your hands. Love one another. Be kind.

xo, Mo