Groundhog Day

Maybe I've been wrong all along.

I’ve been wrestling with a thought for years even had it on a sticky note at one point.

What would you do to be happy if nothing in your life would ever change?

We all have those inner battles - weight, purpose (or lack of), relationships… you get it. We all have something that has always felt like a battle, something to fight for or against. When I can accomplish (fill in the blank), everything will be perfect.

But what if that battle was just in our head, and the way things are—right here, right now—would never change no matter what you did. It might get better for a time, but eventually life would fall back into the current state.

The default mode.

What if you were living a version of this day over and over again like the movie Groundhog Day? And the only way to get out of that day—and all your baggage—was to find out what made you happy during that specific twenty-four hours. It’s as if I’ve been playing by wrong rules all along.

So, if this is the case, and those are the rules, then the only reasonable goal is to figure out what makes you happy.

Not what you should do.

Not what will look better to those around you.

Not what will make someone else happy.

This is an inside job and only you can crack the code to how you want to live the rest of your days.

The gift of time is a privilege and we squander it away worrying about things that aren’t even important to us. We (and by we, I mean me) worry and stress about making lives better for everyone else but ourselves. But as we can see from the last few weeks, our time here is not a guarantee—for us or those we love most. What is the point in waking up everyday if it’s not to do what feels true and brings us joy?

Can you commit to your own happiness day by day? This hamster wheel is so exhausting, and quite honestly, I’m tired of never feeling like what I do makes a difference.

I grew up always feeling like I had to earn my happiness. That if I was good enough and worked hard enough, that happiness would be the prize, but it doesn’t work that way. I’ve spent a lifetime of doing the “right things” and never felt like it was enough. I just want to break free from the weight of this thought pattern—not just for a day, a week, a month—but forever.

I want the default mode to be enough… and to be more about what is right in life than what is wrong.

Can we do that? I know that I’m at least going to try, starting today.

Groundhog Day.

Will he see the shadow or not?

Better yet, will you?

It’s been a minute, but I hope you have been reading something wonderful.

xo, mj